I have very few friendships that have lasted more than four decades. Geography, interests, life events: many changes affect them. I can count my "lifelong" friends on one hand. Even rarer is
having a friend for forty-five years without even one in-person visit to shore up the sagging that usually happens with distance. When
my Kentucky-dwelling friend, Pat, emailed to tell me about a family gathering
her daughter was planning for August on the coast of Washington—it seemed like
a wonderful opportunity to catch in-person glimpses of each other.

With the huge adjustments required of changing locale, we had even more in common and wrote lots of letters—then the only "sensible" (read affordable) means of staying in touch—commiserating
over the demands of long distance moves and the challenges the kids (and their moms) experienced, as a result. Gradually our communication thinned to the annual Christmas-season catch-up, birthday
cards, and the occasional note during the year.
Our long-distance bond
solidified into a kind of supportive sisterhood when both of our lives were rocked and reshaped by similar offspring revelations in the early '80s. We were able to help each other accept
and embrace the ways our family dynamics were changing with our flow of candid
letters. Pat was a godsend for me, and the feeling was mutual.
Eventually we added email as a form of communication—and we have continued to keep in touch once or twice a year plus the Christmas letters. However, email
wasn’t the form I wanted to use when I informed her of Jay’s death. I wrote her a letter via 'snail-mail' and few weeks later, I opened what I thought would be a
condolence letter. Instead, I read of of yet another bond of
circumstance we share: John died less than three weeks after Jay did.

The picture of the two of us was taken at
breakfast in Long Beach, Washington.
Pat has been living with cancer for two-and-a-half years, and has a wondrous story to
tell about the power of positive thinking . . . but I’ll save that for another posting.
It was a long drive from Seattle, but a worthwhile excursion in sunshine and hot summer weather. I finally got to be in the presence of, and physically SEE my friend after forty-five years of no in-person visits!
It should be noted that the only friend I've had all my life—my older sister, Judy—kept me company on the 185 mile drive to Long Beach. I have two friends to thank for the special visit. Is there anyone who'd disagree that little in life that surpasses the value of long-standing friendship?
It should be noted that the only friend I've had all my life—my older sister, Judy—kept me company on the 185 mile drive to Long Beach. I have two friends to thank for the special visit. Is there anyone who'd disagree that little in life that surpasses the value of long-standing friendship?
2 comments:
There is nothing better than a really good friendship. Sallie, so glad that you and Pat found each other.
SALLIE;
THIS IS A MOVING AND MEMORABLE ENTRY IN YOUR BLOG.
JAM
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