Considering I started looking five years ago for a place that would be less upkeep for us as we aged, you'd think I'd be delighted on the eve of our move to "the condo." But, of course, there is much that's bittersweet about leaving this house, and as deep fatigue prevails, the sadness about leaving it has momentarily overcome us.
Hubby, in particular, is grieving, for this is the house he changed with his own two hands--he added a wonderful basement area that's been his office for twenty years, and improved our kitchen immeasurably with new cabinets and countertops. He added molding around all the windows inside and out. He replaced the flat interior doors with paneled doors. You could say, he transformed it into a far more useful and attractive home. So he is experiencing pain similar to what I felt when we left our Milwaukee home twenty-four years ago.
That was the house which our children fledged. Leaving that house, knowing the children were young and malleable at arrival, and semi-formed and passing for adults on departure, utterly broke my heart. It was all I could do to close the door on it for the last time, it was so painful. Leaving it meant my hands-on mothering days were over. I'm sure I also sensed that leaving it meant that our family would remain forever scattered--each of the four residing many miles from Seattle.
We have have held lively events here--great parties, even a wedding! We've accomplished some intense milestones and have learned to enjoy ourselves as empty-nesters. We love the peace, the sounds of birds, the friendly neighbors waving hello. So with sadness tonight we have dragged ourselves to our favorite sitting spots in this, our soon-to-be-former house. One of us in front of the TV, one of us in front of the computer. It's after 9:00 p.m. and we just finished the work day after starting this morning at 8:30 a.m. We are both utterly exhausted. But we shared a lovely take-out meal on the deck of our new condo, overlooking the river, after rolling out the new dining room rug we ordered--in the nick of time before the furniture gets placed in the dining room tomorrow. The river was beautiful. We'll be fine.
Tomorrow the movers arrive about 8:30 a.m.